Jeans: It’s Not You, It’s Me

Very few garments owned by a man are more personal than his jeans. They represent the fashion equivalent of comfort food. It’s the only collection of fabric in your closet that makes everything right. It’s your one friend that never lets you down, even when you have to move out. In the middle of the night.

Back in the day when brands like Levi, Calvin Klein, Jordache and Sergio Valenti  jeans ruled the shelves, it was a far simpler time in the denim industry. Today, finding a pair of good fitting jeans can require an engineering degree.

First there’s the question of fit. Slim cut, boot cut, or straight cut? Second, the wash. Dark wash, light wash, extreme fading, or whiskering. Finally, the rise. High rise, mid rise or low rise? Honestly, can it be anymore complicated?

No wonder your fashion consigliere recently received the following question on his Instagram account from a follower who will remain named jmoore907. “What is your policy on Costco jeans,” he asked?

Now let me make something very clear, your fashion consigliere is not a snob. Throughout my lifetime of fashion procurement I have leveraged Costco’s attractive price on clothing to meet the evolving needs of my closet. However, those purchases have never included jeans.

Socks, sweats, sweat shirts? Yes. But jeans? No.

I draw the line at buying my jeans at a store where they sell jalepenos by the pallet just across the aisle.  But having said that, if you feel the Costco brand of jeans is what fits you best, stick with them, because jeans are personal.

Check your fit and rise below. As always I say, try and pass on the relaxed or loose cut. God gave you what you got, so own it.

And for those of you who long for a look back at the glory days of denim, I’ve got your backsides covered.

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1.) Hash Jeans: Two words my old time Anchorage friends; Jay Jacobs.

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2. Sergio Valenti: Never owned a pair but I always wondered what wearing Sergio Valenti jeans, while sitting in a Chrysler Cordoba with rich Corinthian leather would feel like.

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3. Calvin Klein: Oh hell yes! Keep Brooke. Give me the jeans.These were transformational as a youth. Like turning fifteen, listening to Van Halen and getting stoned for the first time. Yes. That time. Okay. Those times.

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4. Brittania Jeans: Was trying so hard to forget these ever existed when along came Union Bay.

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5. Jordache Jeans: Never owned a pair, but every friend I knew who did, always walked around with a big flair comb sticking out of their back pocket. Was that part of some purchase agreement?

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